WHO WOULD YOU TURN GAY FOR?


Who would you turn gay for?
Chris Hemsworth? Daniel Craig perhaps?
How about some sweet Magic-Mike-style Channing Tatum?
These are just some of the male options. If we're talking options for females, the list really opens up.
Personally speaking, I'd choose Ryan Reynolds. Have you seen his abs in Blade 3? That guy is more than just a dream-boat. He's a dream-ship.
…A shredded, muscular dream-ship.
The question 'who would you turn gay for?' is one of the most common hypothetical questions of our generation. It's so common that you might already have an answer ready to go.
And yet I can't help but feel like almost no-one has thought this question through properly.
For starters, everyone's turning gay for ridiculously attractive people. Every time I've heard a guy answer this question, the answer is always a famous, Hollywood heart-throb. It's never for a guy with some other quality. No-one's turning gay for stability. The message from heterosexual men is clear: if we're going to be hypothetically gay, we're doing it almost exclusively for the dick.
But perhaps more oddly, most of us opt to 'turn gay' for a straight person instead of anyone who's actually gay themselves. Sorry to rain on your hypothetical-dick-parade everyone, but that leaves us with a bit of a logistical problem.
In order to have any chance with your hypothetical dream-boat, they at least need to be capable of being attracted to you.
This is where this hypothetical needs a bit of a rethink. Goodbye Ryan Reynolds, I guess it just wasn't meant to be...
After this epiphany, my first thought was to turn my attention towards gay celebrities like Ricky Martin and Adam Lambert. But if I'm being totally honest, I probably don't have a shot with either of them. I mean I've got some game, but these guys are international superstars - I don't have that kind of pulling power. Even if I miraculously did hook up with one of them, I imagine I'd mostly just be a piece of side-arse. In order for the whole 'turning gay' thing to work I'd need someone with way lower standards, like Darryn from down the street or Sam from the gym or Kevin Spacey.
So now if someone asks me who I'd turn gay for, I guess I'll just say Darryn. Sure it might take a little bit of explaining, but while all the other guys are running around chasing the highly-heterosexual Channing Tatum, I'll be chilling down the street eating nachos and swapping gobbies with Darryn.
I win.




08/02/2018
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